The Lies of the Land Read online

  THE LIES

  OF THE

  LAND

  Also by Adam Macqueen

  The Prime Minister’s Ironing Board and Other State Secrets

  Private Eye: The First 50 Years, an A–Z

  The King of Sunlight: How William Lever Cleaned Up the World

  THE LIES

  OF THE

  LAND

  A BRIEF HISTORY OF

  POLITICAL DISHONESTY

  Adam Macqueen

  Published in hardback in Great Britain in 2017 by Atlantic Books, an imprint of Atlantic Books Ltd.

  Copyright © Adam Macqueen, 2017

  The moral right of Adam Macqueen to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act of 1988.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

  Every effort has been made to trace or contact all copyright holders. The publishers will be pleased to make good any omissions or rectify any mistakes brought to their attention at the earliest opportunity.

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

  Hardback ISBN: 978 1 78649 249 4

  E-book ISBN: 978 1 78649 250 0

  Printed in Great Britain

  Atlantic Books

  An Imprint of Atlantic Books Ltd

  Ormond House

  26–27 Boswell Street

  London

  WC1N 3JZ

  www.atlantic-books.co.uk

  CONTENTS

  INTRODUCTION

  1. OUT OF DEFERENCE

  2. SEX LIES

  3. FINANCIAL FIBBING

  4. GAMBLERS’ CONCEITS

  5. SINS OF SPIN

  6. CONTINENTAL DRIFT

  7. WHERE POWER LIES

  8. BREAKING THEIR WORD

  9. WHOSE TRUTH IS IT ANYWAY?

  CONCLUSION

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  NOTES

  INDEX

  For my brother Andrew

  who likes ‘books which are true’

  and isn’t keen on politicians who lie.

  ‘An old gentleman had been serving on a battleship as a young rating in early 1940 when Churchill had come aboard. Put in a group to question the great man, he had nervously asked, “Is everything you tell us true?” The answer, he alleged, was: “Young man, I have told many lies for my country, and I will tell many more.”’

  Anecdote recounted by former

  Cabinet Minister William Waldegrave

  in his memoirs, 2015

  ‘Truth is a difficult concept.’

  Ian McDonald,

  official at the Ministry of Defence,

  in evidence to the Scott Inquiry, 1993

  ‘I only know what I believe.’

  Prime Minister Tony Blair

  on his approach to events after 9/11

  and the Iraq War, speech, 2004

  ‘You are fake news!’

  President-elect Donald Trump

  refuses to answer a question from CNN,

  press conference, 2017

  INTRODUCTION

  How do you know when a politician is lying? runs the age-old joke. Answer: Their lips are moving. Always gets a big laugh in the saloon bar, that one. Bet Nigel Farage has trotted it out more than once.

  Like most jokes, it’s 90 per cent nonsense wrapped around a hard kernel of truth.

  There are plenty of elected representatives out there living perfectly upright lives. They do their best for their constituents, balance their beliefs with the demands of office and professionalism, speak truth to power and attempt to wield what power comes their way in a manner that brings the greatest benefit – or at least does the least damage – all round.

  So why are we convinced otherwise? Why, as the Brexit referendum and an embarrassment of elections in recent years have repeatedly demonstrated, have we become so determined to think the very worst of those who aspire to serve us?

  Some of it is down to the extraordinary polarization of contemporary politics. Many voters have evacuated the centre ground for entrenched positions held independently of the traditional redoubts of the party system. If you bolster your own righteousness by dismissing the other side as inherently evil and beyond salvation, what can their every utterance be but a lie? Trump’s army of ‘deplorables’ call it ‘fake news’. Hard-core Brexiteers rail against ‘project fear’. The cult of Corbyn dismiss the ‘smears of the mainstream media’. And the laser-focused EU negotiation team offered to the nation by Theresa May in the summer of 2016 appeared to deem any and all alternative points of view as something not far short of treason.

  As sure as night follows day, the louder you shout about your opponents’ lies, the less obliged you feel to tell the truth yourself. The book is far from closed on the presidential team’s links to Russia. There is not, and there was never going to be, £350 million a week to solve the problems of the NHS. Leaders are capable of looking incompetent all by themselves. And the prime minister could boast of as big a parliamentary majority as she likes, but it’s not even a minority interest of Guy Verhofstadt, Michel Barnier, Donald Tusk or anyone else beyond our borders.

  But while downright dishonesty may have increased in volume and visibility in recent years, it is not a new development in politics. For decades now we have felt that our elected representatives speak with forked tongues. There is a very good reason for that. It is the other 10 per cent of the joke. It is the fact that they do.

  Of course they don’t lie all the time. That’s only true in a few cases, those of pathological liars programmed to believe whatever happens to be coming out of their mouth at any given moment. We’ll see some examples in the stories of Jeffrey Archer and Donald Trump, both of whom have built a well-deserved reputation for their lying. We’ll also see it in the tales of Mohamed Fayed, who though he is not a politician himself has nevertheless been the facilitator and funder of more than one incident of spectacular lying which appears in these pages.

  But then, very few people out there are listening all the time either. Beyond the wonks of Westminster, the loyal partisans and the dedicated readers and viewers of political journalism (who for the most part – let’s be honest – tend to be other political journalists), most of politics coalesces into a shapeless ball of noise. The bulk of the population perceive only something we might call ‘Politicians with a capital P’ (followed by a sigh). Politicians with a capital P are a not trustworthy but nevertheless authoritative mass, always there on the nightly news and in the papers and the Facebook feed, getting in the way of the sport and showbiz gossip and your friends’ family pictures. Very occasionally a clear statement, pledge or personality breaks out of the background noise. In spin-doctoring circles, these are known as the moments with ‘cut-through’.1 All too often, these moments are not exactly the ones the spin doctors want us to be focusing on.

  As one prime example, how often these days do you hear people bring up the topic of how tirelessly Tony Blair worked first to corral George W. Bush and then to get the UN Security Council to pass Resolution 1441 condemning Saddam Hussein’s ‘non-compliance’ to ensure the US didn’t go into Iraq without some international backing?2 Probably not much. But it is an unbreakable rule of these first decades of the twenty-first century that any conversation about British politics, on almost any topic, on- or offline, will at some point default to the claim that the former prime minister lied about WMDs in order to take us into an illegal war
. I happen not to believe that is true – don’t worry, I’ll explain why in chapter 7 and you’ll have every opportunity to denounce me as a Blairite lickspittle neocon. But as we have already seen, one of the curious things about the loudest accusations of lying is that those making them don’t feel obliged to tell the whole truth.

  It’s always the bad behaviour that sticks. Can you name one achievement of the Nixon administration other than Watergate? Do you have any idea what government positions John Profumo held before he had to resign from them in disgrace? Which action taken in the Oval Office by Bill Clinton is the first to spring to mind? And those are just the classics. Within these pages you will find many less well-known incidents of chicanery, double-dealing, alternative facts and outright falsehoods. En masse, they form the folk memory that has ushered us into the much-vaunted ‘post-truth’ era. They are the reason so many of us feel unable to believe anything a politician says.

  The bigger question is why politicians lie, dissemble, mislead or simply go to great efforts to avoid telling us the truth in the first place.

  Discipline obliges dishonesty. I write this introduction from the midst of an election campaign which the incumbent party are fighting in the form of a stuck record, repeating nothing but the phrase ‘strong and stable’ for fear that anything else might offer hostages to fortune and doing their best not to answer the very few questions that make it through their fortified defences. If their own foot soldiers make it into government they will face immense pressure to keep up a similar parroting of the party line. The system is rigidly enforced with the carrot of career advancement and the stick of a media mauling.

  It is that same fear – imposed both by party whips and by a lobby press with a shameless, symbiotic relationship with the hierarchies it ought to be holding to account – that ensures politicians who are under-informed, unprepared or unable to think on their feet (a bit like most of us, most of the time) are reduced to bullshitting their way through everything. Their unstudied interviews, once broadcast or printed, acquire an authoritative status that might as well be carved in tablets of stone. Entire policies and political crises have been constructed around the inability of a powerful person to admit, in the moment, ‘I don’t know.’

  There is also the sheer overweening arrogance that overtakes the elected once they reach a certain point in their careers. Being driven everywhere, having an army of civil servants to attend to your every need, flying in and out of receptions and banquets where everyone wants to talk to you and toast your eminence is not a good diet for the ego. It is especially bad for those whose egos were big to start with. A calling can all too easily turn into a mission; a mission in time can mutate into a conviction that you, and only you, have the answers that will save the world. It is a quality that singles out our best prime ministers – Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher, Tony Blair – and also simultaneously makes them our worst. Self-belief can convince you that everyone else should believe you too. Then things like empirical truth are for the little people.

  And marching behind the righteous are the reckless, those whose own personality flaws manifest in an extraordinary desire to play with fire – be it sexual affairs, financial fiddles, or the sheer thrill of risk itself. From Jeremy Thorpe to Jonathan Aitken, they did not so much sow as scatter the seeds of their own destruction.

  Some of them were simply greedy, unhappy to settle for the spiritual rewards of public service when the potential pecuniary ones remain much more generous. Yet, however those of us who pay their wages might feel about it, the rules say that being an MP is not a full-time job. It is perfectly possible for a politician to be straightforward and honest about exploiting opportunities for enrichment. The ones who have lied about it did so for a different reason. MPs like Aitken and Neil Hamilton are often described as shameless. The opposite was the case. It was shame that made them deny their sins so loudly for so long, just as it was a collective, institutional shame that prompted Parliament to resist perfectly reasonable enquiries about its expenses system, until finally, in 2009, the curtain was whipped back to expose our ruling class in all its naked, squirming venality.

  From Nixon onwards, it has always been the cover-up that does for them. A fear of how transactions might be perceived has led both Tory and Labour leaders to try to keep the whole ‘murky business’ of political donations and honours (the description is Tony Blair’s) out of sight and out of public mind.3 A vicious cycle – public mistrust leading to private dissembling leading to greater public mistrust – has been established. They tell us lies because they know they can’t expect us to believe them.

  The result is that the one profession in whom we are regularly required to register our trust at the polls, is the one the polls show we least trust. At the end of 2016 just 15 per cent of the British public said they trust any politicians to tell the truth; the next least trusted profession, with 20 per cent, was ‘government ministers’. You can take my word for this, even though, as a journalist, I’m right there in third place with 24 per cent credibility.4

  With trust all round at such a dismal low, we enter the realms of farce. In April 2016, Secretary of State for Culture, Media and Sport John Whittingdale faced some embarrassment. It was revealed – perhaps belatedly, since he was in charge of implementing press regulation after the Leveson inquiry, and this may have made the papers less keen on exposing his peccadillos – that the minister had been going out with one Olivia King, a dominatrix who worked under the professional name ‘Mistress Kate’. ‘Between August 2013 and February 2014, I had a relationship with someone who I first met through Match.com,’ Whittingdale admitted. ‘She was a similar age and lived close to me. At no time did she give me any indication of her real occupation and I only discovered this when I was made aware that someone was trying to sell a story about me to tabloid newspapers. As soon as I discovered, I ended the relationship.’5

  It turned out that Mistress Kate was not the only one who had fibbed about their occupation, however. Another woman, called Stephanie Hudson, came forward to say she too had gone out with the veteran politician after meeting him on the same website. But she said Whittingdale – who had worked as political secretary to Margaret Thatcher, been an MP since 1992 and headed the influential select committee on culture before ascending to the cabinet – had not revealed what he actually did for a living.

  He told her he was an arms dealer instead.6

  How the hell did we get here?

  1

  OUT OF DEFERENCE

  There is a famous political interview from the General Election of 1951 in which the BBC’s Leslie Mitchell promises to ‘cross-question’ senior Conservative Sir Anthony Eden. ‘I would like to feel that I am asking, so far as possible, those questions which you yourselves would like to ask in my place,’ he told viewers. Then he goes in with a real zinger: ‘Well now, Mr Eden, with your very considerable experience of foreign affairs, it’s quite obvious that I should start by asking you something about the international situation today, or perhaps you would prefer to talk about home. Which is it to be?’1

  Paxman he was not. It would be a further four years before Robin Day on the new ITV jump-started the sort of adversarial political interview to which we have become accustomed. Day-to-day political reporting consisted mostly of producing page after page of transcripts of parliamentary speeches, taken down at shorthand speed and reproduced verbatim, thus allowing MPs – and their unelected counterparts in the hereditary House of Lords – to effectively write their own accounts of their activities.

  None of this seemed remarkable at the time. Hierarchies, and the deference that was due to them, were embedded and enforced in every institution: the arcane pecking order of the public schools was echoed in the state sector by the eleven-plus division, which defined the course of a pupil’s life. And whether they then found themselves on a factory floor or in a professional body, they were locked into a rigid system of willing conformity. National service, which lingered as a hangove
r of the war right up until 1960, trained every man to unquestioningly accept the authority of his elders and betters, while women were expected to know their place, which, once married, was in the home.

  Through everything ran the vast system of self-regulation that is class in Britain. As if stamping down on the brief socialist aberration of Attlee’s government, when Winston Churchill was re-elected in 1951, he appointed two marquesses, four earls, four viscounts and three barons as ministers. The commoners in the cabinet seemed to work on the hereditary principle too. Anthony Eden married Churchill’s niece Clarissa in 1952 before following her uncle into Number 10, and Duncan Sandys, another of his cabinet colleagues, married Churchill’s daughter Diana.

  In such an atmosphere, is it any wonder that honesty and openness to one’s social inferiors was not a priority for politicians? But voters did demand that their rulers be accountable for their actions. And that was a lesson Britain’s political elite were about to learn the hard way.

  * * * * *

  ‘For a long time the Prime Minister has had no respite from his arduous duties and is in need of a complete rest. We have therefore advised him to abandon his journey to Bermuda and to take at least a month’s rest.’

  Lord Moran and Sir Russell Brain, doctors to Sir Winston Churchill, press bulletin, 27 June 1953

  The prime minister was on fine form that night. He had been knocking back the booze in his customary manner, and when he rose to say a few words in honour of his Italian counterpart, Alcide De Gasperi, the guests in Downing Street agreed it was a classic of its kind. ‘He made a speech in his best and most sparkling manner, mainly about the Roman Conquest of Britain,’ noted his principal private secretary Jock Colville, who not so long before had been worrying that the increasing amount of speechwriting he had been asked to do was ‘a sign of advancing senility’ in his seventy-eight-year-old boss.2 The mood in the room was boisterous and joyful as the meal concluded and Churchill stood up again to urge his guests through from Number 10’s dining room to the drawing room. But he only made it a few steps before he staggered and sat down heavily on a recently vacated chair. Elizabeth Clark happened to be beside him at that moment, and he clutched her hand. ‘I want a friend,’ he muttered, not quite focusing on her face. ‘They put too much on me. Foreign affairs…’ Then he tailed off into silence.3